Enjoy The Journey!

The dictionary defines "journey" as "a traveling from one place to another; a passage from one stage to another." Life assures us that our journey will sometimes be visited by events that prove to be challenging to say the least. Job of the Old Testament states, "Man born of a woman is but a few days and full of trouble" (Job 14:1). As we journey through life we all face those tough places; stops along the way that cause us to wonder if we are going to make it. Despite our knowing that God says it's all working out for our good, we still wonder. We must press on, we can make it. We can live again.

Naomi Carroll said it well in a song entitled "Enjoy the Journey" --
Be faithful and strong His work in you has begun
Don’t ever give up just hold on to what He has done.
So don’t waste time with your tears and lies by your fears you can go on.
Enjoy the journey rest in God’s love
Give Him glory, be strong and stand up
For He has given life worth living,
so until eternity, enjoy the journey.

My work and ministry with the local hospice has given tremendous opportunity to share in the challenges of many who face difficulty in their journey. It is inspiring. I have opportunity each day to see them move from one stage to another in their personal journey to wholeness. I personally invite you to be a part of our monthly support group, Journeys, that meets on the first Tuesday of each month in Room 100 at 10:00 AM. Come and bring a friend! Enjoy the journey.

Check out Naomi's beautiful song...

Grief Makes Me Sick?

Have you ever wondered what kind of effect emotional pain or grief can have on your life? Do you feel that there are some physical outcomes that can be manifested in your life as a result of the challenges associated with the loss of a loved one?

Often, people in grief can become sick physically and at times even get "stuck in grief" which doesn't allow for the person to grow and move forward. Either of the two is dangerous.

I recently read that Dr. Harold Bloomfield says, "Unresolved emotional pain wreaks havoc on your immune system, cardiac function, hormone levels, and other physical functions. We must make peace with our past because our life may literally depend on it."

As you are aware memories are priceless and we so enjoy retelling of the past and reliving some of the good times with our loved ones, but we cannot dwell on the past. We cannot change the past or live in the past.

There are many things that we would like to change if given the chance. But most of the time we don't get the chance, therefore, dwelling on it would be a waste to time. Consider these tips:

1) We need to start looking at it differently. Don't look at what you've lost; rather look at what you've gained. Ask, "What have I learned from this? How did it make me stronger? What is really important?"

2) Know the difference between guilt and shame. Guilt is feeling bad about what you've done. It's healthy. Shame is feeling bad about who you are. It's poison and debilitating. Each one of us have things we'd like to change about ourselves, but God created us and He said, "It was very good" (Gen. 1:31). So start seeing yourself as God sees you.

3) Stop punishing yourself with the "what if's". Forgive yourself, God has (Ephesians 1:6).

4) Move from pain to gain. Healing takes time, so expect some anger, fear, and sadness. Don't disown them, they are part of the process. Don't adopt them either, just know when it's time to move on.

God has so much in store for you that you and I cannot even imagine, but what God has is much better than anything we could imagine for ourselves. "They shall obtain joy and gladness, sorrow and sighing shall flee away" (Isaiah 41:11 NKJV).

Grief is a normal part of life. Just remember that you and I must grieve properly so that we will not get stuck in the process and experience added complications such as physical difficulties or illness.

"Out of the mouth of babes..."

Today, I finally got a chance to spend some time with my God-daughter. She is in the second grade and is the smartest second grader I’ve ever talked with. Her vocabulary is well-rounded and you can tell the adults in her life don’t “play it down” one bit. She loves to read and does a great job reading aloud from chapter books already. She loves her teacher and talks about her class activities with excitement and vigor. She loves her family and takes pride in being the sister.

We were eating pizza, one of her favorites, when my husband took a picture of us ordering and….Imani can order for herself. “Pepperoni pizza with stuffed crust” she said. I looked at photo of us on his phone and stated, “I look old today!” Imani looked into my face ,but didn’t say anything.

Then after eating we stopped by a Super Walmart to shop a little; any second grader can use a few rings to accessorize her wardrobe. My husband printed out two of the photos, one for us at our home, and one for Imani at her home. I again said, “Umph, I look old today!”

While washing our hands in the bathroom, I glanced in the mirror (and must have looked old) and ran my fingers through my hair, pressed my lips together to smooth out the lipstick lined in my lips, and lifted my eyebrows attempting to lift the lines burrowed in my forehead. I heard Imani say innocently, “You need a make-over.”

Well, yes I do! Out of the mouth of babes! Sometimes it takes someone’s innocent statement to stir us to change. I think I do. I haven’t had a manicure or pedicure in months. My hair seems to be lifeless and I need to invest in a different shampoo and conditioner. My face badly needs a deep facial cleansing and my eyebrows a shaping. My coat was bought probably ten years ago and although not really out of style, not in either.

And as Imani states, “maybe you should use some eye shadow and buy a pair of gold high heels…they will help to make you look younger!” Oh, the smile and heartfelt concern on the face of my youngest family member spoke volumes. She didn’t accuse me of not trying, or shame me for letting myself go, or even act like she hadn’t noticed that I was “looking old”, she just offered me good honest suggestions on making myself look younger.

Well, it’s in my court then; I plan on taking action. I may just go with a pair of cute moderate heels and a little tint on the eyelids…. but tips I plan on using. Besides that, I will attempt to plan time for myself in improving the things I saw and verbalized. I find often that until we acknowledge our issues, we can’t get help. After acknowledging our needs or conditions, we can act. So therefore, we can either find resources or hear the ones around us. I find with people experiencing grief that they acknowledge their issues, verbalizing their loss and feelings, and identify the needs to focus on. It only takes an understanding person to listen and offer some ideas, support, or suggestions. Not allowing excuses or reasoning, not blaming or causing guilt, but being honest and upfront in offering their best!

So if you find yourself in that position; listen to your comments about yourself. “How are you doing?” so many ask. Be honest and listen! Find sources of help or just listen to yourself. Lonely? Get involved with a support group, church organization, or volunteer helping others. Tired? Make sure your routine is healthy. Eat healthy, get proper rest, and exercise. Depressed? See a doctor, try journaling, acknowledge positive things in life. Angry? Forgive your loved one for leaving you. Out of the mouth of babes!