Have you ever wondered what kind of effect emotional pain or grief can have on your life? Do you feel that there are some physical outcomes that can be manifested in your life as a result of the challenges associated with the loss of a loved one?Often, people in grief can become sick physically and at times even get "stuck in grief" which doesn't allow for the person to grow and move forward. Either of the two is dangerous.
I recently read that Dr. Harold Bloomfield says, "Unresolved emotional pain wreaks havoc on your immune system, cardiac function, hormone levels, and other physical functions. We must make peace with our past because our life may literally depend on it."
As you are aware memories are priceless and we so enjoy retelling of the past and reliving some of the good times with our loved ones, but we cannot dwell on the past. We cannot change the past or live in the past.
There are many things that we would like to change if given the chance. But most of the time we don't get the chance, therefore, dwelling on it would be a waste to time. Consider these tips:
1) We need to start looking at it differently. Don't look at what you've lost; rather look at what you've gained. Ask, "What have I learned from this? How did it make me stronger? What is really important?"
2) Know the difference between guilt and shame. Guilt is feeling bad about what you've done. It's healthy. Shame is feeling bad about who you are. It's poison and debilitating. Each one of us have things we'd like to change about ourselves, but God created us and He said, "It was very good" (Gen. 1:31). So start seeing yourself as God sees you.
3) Stop punishing yourself with the "what if's". Forgive yourself, God has (Ephesians 1:6).
4) Move from pain to gain. Healing takes time, so expect some anger, fear, and sadness. Don't disown them, they are part of the process. Don't adopt them either, just know when it's time to move on.
God has so much in store for you that you and I cannot even imagine, but what God has is much better than anything we could imagine for ourselves. "They shall obtain joy and gladness, sorrow and sighing shall flee away" (Isaiah 41:11 NKJV).
Grief is a normal part of life. Just remember that you and I must grieve properly so that we will not get stuck in the process and experience added complications such as physical difficulties or illness.
