Thanksliving for Thanksgiving!

Now is the time in which we begin to organize our wallets and schedule events in our calendars for the busy “holiday season”. Yes, it starts this month with Thanksgiving and all the preparations for the wonderful meal that brings family and friends together. It’s a time in which we are to give gratitude for the things we have received. As you well know that Christmas is right on the heels of Thanksgiving and if we aren’t careful, the retail market will let us forget being thankful as they crowd the aisles with Christmas decorations and gift giving ideas. Many have already begun shopping and making their plans so they won’t feel the crunch and stress in December.

You may be saying,” I don’t feel like being thankful nor do I even want to see a Christmas tree.” That is often the case while you are experiencing grief and loss. You realize that the void of that loved one robs you of fully feeling the excitement as you once did. I encourage you to make the choice of allowing this season to remember wonderful memories of your loved one and to make new memories with those you still have with you and of giving thanks for the time you spent or are spending with them. Choose to look at the positive things rather than the negative things.

Did you know that the average life expectancy was 20-35 years in most of the world’s history? And much of that was spent in disease, poverty, and misery?

Pull out the recipes and make that favorite dish or ask a daughter or friend to assist you with this task while you share the memories and times past. It’s okay to talk about your loved one and to laugh at the crazy events of past and present as family joins together to celebrate thanks.

Do we truly know how to show gratitude and do we truly express our gratitude, as we should? Our lives have been so busy and so filled with emotion, adjustments, and duties. This season is a chance to determine that we will be more active in expressing our thanks and gratitude to those around us. First we can begin by thanking God. “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” (James 1:17). Take time to sit quietly with God each day sharing thanks and accepting His comfort. Set a time each day and make it a part of your routine.


Secondly, thank those around you. Thank those who have stood by your side, invited you to enter in, pushed you to continue. It could be gentle thanks spoken or a quick card written to express how you feel. Thank them for the love they have displayed to you. Don’t forget the agencies, or businesses that have also been a blessing to you. Thanks for simply “being there”. When is the last time someone thanked you? Thought so, we just don’t say it enough!

Thirdly, Acknowledge thanks! Acknowledge blessings! Acknowledge gifts! Allow yourself to accept those positive things directed to you. Allow yourself to be the one someone else is giving thanks for. Be!

I look forward to seeing you at our next Journey’s meeting. We will continue our talk on gratitude and we will take a relaxing ride through Bertie County narrated by Cecil Lowe, a lifetime resident. We will lunch at the historical Seagull Café. If you’ve never eaten there it is a treat of our area. The pies are homemade by Delores Forehand. Those pies are delightful. Chocolate or lemon meringue that stands tall and the flavors are perfect. You will want to bring a whole pie back to your family or order one for your Thanksgiving meal (this is smart and stress free)!

Looking forward to time with you and yes, I’m thankful for You!

Joy Phillips, Bereavement Counselor


NOTE: Journeys will meet at Carpenter’s Shop Church in Ahoskie at 10:00 AM on Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009. We will depart for the Seagull Café’ at 10:15 AM.
Please call to get your name on the list.

"Feelin' blue....feelin' down?"

Ever feel “blue”? Ever have some “down days”? Depression is a word we just don’t like to use, but let’s face it, we all have had some times in our lives where we can probably say, “I am depressed!” Interestingly enough, we have a choice to just “fall” and let depression take us down or to “stand” and make every effort to handle depression. And actually these simple, but very noteworthy tips will also keep us healthy in many areas of our lives: physical wellness, spiritual wellness, active memory wellness, and emotional wellness. Here are a few tips to help when handling depression:
Keep a routine. That’s right. Keeping your body on a schedule helps in more than just one way. A set bedtime and wake up time helps to keep your body clock acclimated to better functioning. If you get up late in the morning, you eat later causing blood sugar imbalance. If you take your medications later this causes a deviation from the medication staying in your system effectively. So sit down and jot down your schedule. Tweak it to make sure you are keeping a healthy routine for the wellness of maintaining wholeness.
Exercise. Get outside and breathe in some healthy air, and make sure you allow the sunlight to hit you. In fact, studies show that sunlight stirs the metabolism and increases the “happy endorphins”. It may be walking 15-30 minutes each day or twice a day. Just to get the blood pumping and the body moving. The endorphins help to lighten our mood! So you’re not one who would like getting outside? A treadmill will work, but you won’t get the effects of the sun. Take an aerobics class or walk with friends, which will give some support and extra connections with others.
Socialize. Find ways of meeting others. Get involved in something that will get you connecting with others. Team up with others for a cause, like the Relay For Life Team, which help provide cancer funds for families and research, or attend church functions/groups that will be of interest to you. Lots of times we forget that there are others like us, near our age, same gender, or who share interests, etc., which will bring friendships and conversation. Remember, positive people hang around positive people. (You know what that means about negative people don’t you?)
Take a class. Learn something new. Get your mind off yourself and study! Stretching the mind is an awesome way to stay alert and to keep your mind off of the circumstances that often cause the depression. Sign up for a class at the Senior Center, Community College, Local Church, Art Council, etc. If no time for a class, read a book, do word puzzles, play chess, learn a skill, etc.
Eat healthy. You have always heard, “you are what you eat”. So eat healthy. Studies have shown that what we eat affects the body’s ability to fight off infections as well as maintaining healthy levels of blood sugars, cholesterol, blood pressure, etc. As mentioned above, attempt to keep regular eating times/schedules.
Think positive. Choose to think of the glass half full rather than half empty. Find the good in situations; the negative usually pops us up beside the head, so look for the positive. Life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% of how we respond.
Enjoy the simple things. Walk through leaves and hear the rustle. Lie down and make snow angels. Allow yourself to be a kid again! Smell the roses, pick the wildflowers and place them in vases on your desk or kitchen table. Have a picnic; watch the sunset over the river.

There are many ways that we can actively choose to battle depression. But the choice is ours. No one can do it for us. I feel we don’t fully understand how often we make choices. And those choices make a difference in how we perceive ourselves. We are in control!